I know so many girls who have a signifigant other in the military, myself included. I’m not going to lie….. it can really suck. The thing is, it always ends up being worth it. We need to support each other because no one in relationships with a regular civilian understand what its like to constantly be away from your favorite person.
Yeah, it sucks being alone with limited contact with your SO alot of the times, especially during boot camp, trainings, and deployments. But TRUST ME, that just means more homecomings and homecomings are literally the most amazing thing that happens in the history of ever. Nothing beats that feeling of seeing your loved one come through that airport gate and the way your heart beams with joy when you finally get that long awaited hug and kiss. People in regular relationships just won’t experience this AMAZING feeling, so there is something to get yourself through that time alone.
You are now part of an exclusive club of strong women!
Another thing is that its so easy to feel alone during these times. I know that there’s times when I just need to be alone because I know that my friends don’t understand this feeling. That doesn’t matter, but its good to have connections with people who are going through the same thing as you. That being said, let me now if you need someone to talk to about it! 🙂
You get stronger.
Saying “see you later” never gets easier. I still cry like a baby when we have to part ways, but I know that its just temporary. Although it doesn’t get easier, you get stronger.
You develop an independence.
I would MUCH rather be with my husband, but the independence you have to develop by being in a military relationship shapes you as a person in so many ways. You become one tough cookie and nothing can bring you down.
With that being said, Its okay to feel weak.
There are times when I question my strength. I really didn’t want to come back to school for my last year because I didn’t want to leave my husband. I felt weak, and I questioned if I was strong enough to spend the next twenty years of my life uncertain when my husband will be away and I’d be alone. However, I realized that I can’t let that get to me. I’m bigger and stronger than those thoughts.
You’re gonna have to be flexible.
I was a planner. However, in this lifestyle you can’t plan anything. By our second year of marriage, we would have lived two places and I’ll be thousands of miles away from my parents. Life is going to to be so unexpected and scary, but also beautiful. I will be able to see places with my husband that I have only dreamed of seeing. Flexibility is key, though because trust me, in this lifestyle you have plan A, which turns to plan B, which turns back to Plan A, but what ends up happening is Plan Z. Its not always a bad thing, just be prepared if your a planner.
You are gonna have to make sacrifices.
If you plan on PCSing with your SO everytime, its going to be hard to hold a steady job and make your way up in the career of your dreams. I’m not saying its not possible, so don’t think that! It will just be harder, so you might have to make adjustments. I wanted to live in NYC and be a fashion magazine editor since I was in middle school. Now looking at who I am as a person, I would not have survived in NYC, let’s be honest…. but I’m still reaching for those goals, just making some adjustments. That’s honestly why I started this blog. I want to build this blog up and make it a career. Here is a word of warning. You are going to have to make sacrifies……. but if you love someone, those sacrifices mean nothing. My dreams have just altered themselves around this lifestly, and I like it so much better than I would have.
Do yourself a favor, and try not to worry.
There have been times I catch something on the news and then turn on full investigator mode to see if it will affect my family….. I convince myself the world will end tomorrow and suddenly I’m a mess. I did this for a year and a half of this relationship, and nothing ever came out of all my dumb news watching and overanalyzing. SO DON’T DO IT! You will be happier and way less stressed. Trust me. The news just reports on the bad, so look for the good.
This whole blog post ended up being me just rambling on and on about milwife life, but I feel like a lot of people in the same situation as me feel alone. There are so many of us going through this, and we will get through it. Being apart is only temporary, so focus on the time that you do have together. It will make time go quicker…. I promise! And remember that at the end of it all comes a homecoming! 🙂
You’ve got this!